I am going to start my series of posts about the different types of OCD with one that is near and dear to my heart: Pure O OCD.
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, therapist, social worker, etc. Nothing in this article is to be perceived as medical or treatment advice. This is for educational and entertainment purposes only.
As you may be able to guess, Pure O stands for purely obsessional OCD. It is a bit of a misnomer because it isn’t purely obsessional. I should know, this is one of the types of OCD I have. Pure O has a few subtypes, of which, I will explain each in their own post.
The recognized sub-types are:
- Harm OCD
- Pedophilia OCD
- Relationship OCD (ROCD)
- Sexual Orientation OCD (SO-OCD)
You may be reading this and thinking: “Only obsessions and no compulsions? That sounds great!” Unfortunately, I wish there were no compulsions. There are two main forms of compulsions for Pure O. They are Rumination and Reassurance Seeking.
Rumination
Rumination: obsessive thinking about an idea, situation, or choice especially when it interferes with normal mental functioning. Specifically : a focusing of one’s attention on negative or distressing thoughts or feelings that when excessive or prolonged may lead to or exacerbate an episode of depression. “Rumination.” Merriam-Webster.com Medical Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/medical/rumination.
Rumination sucks. When you are in the throes of your obsession, it can seem like there is no way to stop ruminating. I’ve been there. I was stuck in endless cycles of focusing on my obsession and my ruminations were trying to work through my obsession to make it better.
By nature I am a problem solver and, to me, the easiest way to fix my obsessions was to focus on them and work through them. I was trying to figure out why they bothered me and also prove to myself that I’m not a violent person, that I’m didn’t shout something stupid or controversial out during class or, more recently, on the phone when I talked to a client. This is NOT the way. By trying to solve my obsessions, I was feeding them. I was making them stronger.
For me, rumination involved incessantly mentally checking what I had done or said. I even started developing mental rituals to ease the anxiety my OCD was causing and to stop the obsessions for a time.
Reassurance
I also would ask my family questions. To my family the questions may have been innocuous, but to me they were meant to do one thing: give me reassurance. Reassurance seeking is another compulsion and is exactly what it sounds like. You ask your family, a friend, your partner about whatever your obsession is and they of course say: “you would never stab someone with a knife!”, “You wouldn’t shout anything during that class!” For any type of Pure O, Reassurance will make you feel better for a time, but I guarantee that the obsessions will come back. If you take nothing else away from this post, remember this” Reassurance. WILL. NOT. help. you.
Reassurance can also be sought by looking things up online. Is that why you’re reading this right now? While I appreciate the views, don’t use this site, or any site for that matter, to give yourself reassurance. Trust me, I know how hard it is. My job and profession are all about research and, honestly, stopping research into my obsessions was one of the hardest things I had to do.
It’s made extra difficult because we have our phones everywhere we go. When I worried about an obsession I would just pull out my phone and look it up. The research would add up though and eventually I was reading studies, forums, everything looking to see what other people have experienced and if I could relate to them. Was it really OCD? Would I go crazy? Sometimes I would stay up for hours researching. Seeking that hit of reassurance. Don’t be like me.
If you seek reassurance, as I used to, your symptoms will not improve. So what should you do? I don’t know what you should do. I’m not your doctor. What worked for me was doing ERP. ERP stands for Exposure and Response Prevention. I will discuss ERP in each specific OCD post because ERP has to be geared towards the specific OCD type. You wouldn’t expose yourself to germs by washing your hands to cure Hoarding.